"Yeah, I should have warned you. It was an oversight on my part." Though he responded in English, the accent was distinct. It seemed that switching between the languages made him forget the twinge of London posh he carried with him when he came out to the city.
It wasn't until Declan made the remark that Eoghan realized he was speaking too quickly. Distorted time made it difficult for him to gauge the speed of his vocalizations against his. Frankly, he didn't need Declan to slow down because the words seem to linger in his mind, forever. He was beginning to feel queer, his mind emphasizing and de-emphasizing the words he heard. He imagined the words as seeds, placed gently in the ground to bloom. Eoghan also found that as he heard Declan speak, though the dialect was different, it was a comforting sound.
Eoghan held his breath for a moment and focused on slowing his beating heart. He knew that he needed to help, to do something courageous for once. Eoghan spent his life hiding behind his mom, his sister and avoided all conflict. It caused so much cognitive dissonance within himself as he attempted to visualize himself as a hero. But he knew. He knew he had to act and do something for others like him.
He furrowed his brows. "I've been working on a project." The words he produced were slowed. It felt like an eternity. "And I need to keep it hidden. Do you know of any charms that can help me keep a secret?" Eoghan deeply signed. "I want to help." Hed practiced the phrases in front of a mirror before they met. He walked back to the table to grab his drink and he chugged the rest of it down.
His movements felt fluid, but it was apparent Eoghan was under the influence. He swayed, as he tried to make the 90 degree turn to face Declan. His cheeks were rosy. The lad slightly stumbled back into the table, pushing it slightly. "I think I had too much." He frowned. "I'll have to try this again when I'm not so" he hiccups, "drunk!" His words were a mix between his native English and the language of his home.
The question became...
Could he be brave and stand up to his anxiety? The question burned in his mind, he felt inadequate. Why did he decide to do this now? "I want to forget, today." He slurred his words, in gaelic. He knew what war could do to the mind, he wondered why he was volunteering himself to the same fate as his father. Remember, you left the city so you wouldn't have to do this. Left the city to get away from the politics. Why are you doing this to yourself. Why are you involving Declan in this mess. Whats your problem Eoghan. Why do you want to be your father. Look at how messed up he is. You want to be messed up. You will never do this. You'll fail. His inner dialogue helped no one.